Sunday, June 26, 2005
A deep sigh of relief...
I'm employed again! Hooray! I got a job as a fron desk clerk at a local hotel. I start tomorrow and I'm very excited. The lady that interviewed me is cool. We got through about half the questions on the interview and she said, "You're hired" and I laughed and she said "no I'm serious, I have two more interviews and like 20 more questions i should ask you but I don't need to, you're hired." Total self esteem booster!! It'll also be really good for my school schedule, I only work Thursday Saturday and Sunday and have the rest of the week off but I'll still be getting over 20 hours a week and have lots of time to do homework. Plus they're really layed back at work and she said I could do homework or work on my book there. I really think it's gonna be good.

Mandy and the crew left this morning to head home to Alb. It was nice to have them here and Mandy and I got to hang out and talk and it was a lot of fun. I must say though, it's nice to have my house back, and I'm sure they're glad to be headed home. Maybe I'll go see them for spring break or something. If I can save up the $$$ That's another thing about this job, I'm getting paid almost half of what I was making before and I like to have money. I'm kind of considering trying to find some kind of part time from home something or other. I don't know. Anyway! Mandy's gone and I'm bummed, I wanted to get a picture of the three sisters to post here but we were all going about 100 miles an hour the whole time Mandy was here, then all of the sudden Mandy was gone and Becky was out of town and it was too late.

Speaking of Becky out of town, I got to babysit Sophie overnight last night and it was so much fun! She slept all night from 9 to 7, went to bed with near no fuss, and was just soo happy and fun this morning. I woke up like 8 times cuz I was worried I wouldn't hear her if she needed me so I'm tired but still, that smiley little angel face was just great to see first thing in the morning. We spent the morning painting each others toes and watching the CareBears movie (which may I just say is pretty dang scary) and then we played in the sandbox and she "washed my hair" with sand which was unfortunate but ok cuz it was so cute. Every time I tend her I get more and more baby hungry. It's not like my biological clock it winding down or anything I'm only 22 but I want a family. I was built to be a mom, give me some card board and glue and glitter and I'll make you a princess. Need a hula girl costume? I'm your girl. And I love cartoons! OK, I know that's not all that goes into being a mommy but I think its a good start. Besides Sophie loves me and she's a pretty good judge of character. I put her to bed last night and as I was closing the door I heard this tiny sweet little voice say "Goodnight Katy, I love you." That's my best thing about being an auntie. Worst thing, having to give them back.

Friday, June 24, 2005
Everybody else is doing it.
I figured everybody else was having name issues so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon real quick cuz I just had an interview and they pronounced my name wrong, I hate correcting prospective bosses but I just gotta. My name is Kathryn, Katy to most, Kate to my dad, Kat to some, and Rhyn to a girl I used to work with. I have also been known as Katy Mae, Katy Sue, Katy Brown, and Katy Gene, when MissuzJ is mad at me :). Because of the way my parents spelled Kathryn, with a Y, they decided to spell Katy with a Y as well. So for some reason people think my name is pronounced Kat-ee, which is what happened today. So I say it's Katy, like the bug, katydid, but the brilliant southern utahns still don't know what I'm talking about. *Sigh* so I answer to everything. ANYWAY!! One interview down another to go! I'll let ya'll know what happens with the second. Yeah...I just said ya'll... ICK.

If I would just blog more often this wouldn't happen...
So when I haven't blogged for a few days I find it hard to decide on a topic to blog about. Strange because for the last week I haven't been able to think of anything to blog at all. Anyway, this may be a little unfocused but I'll try and be clear. To help I've added little sub-titles...though I'm not sure that's what I should call them.

Me and the sisters went to Mr. and Mrs. Smith on Tuesday. OOOOH the hotness! I love Brad Pitt, it's cliche and common and I don't care. He is my happy thought. If ever I come across some pixie dust and have urgent business in Neverland, I will be thinking, Brad Pitt on the beach!!! I am in fact watching Troy for the third time in a week, because it has, as Mandy puts it, "man thighs and Brad flesh".

My mandatory job bitching...
The great job hunt continues, I don't know why I feel so completely unhirable. Maybe it's because my last job F*ed with my head so much. But I'm not dwelling. I have a few applications and resumes out and today I actually showered and got ready before like 2PM, so I feel like I accomplished something, and I have two interviews tomorrow. True one of them is just the mandatory placement thing at the local staffing service, but I like saying I have 2 interviews tomorrow rather than saying I have AN interview tomorrow. I'm actually feeling pretty confident. I'm not a total nit after all.

Water water everywhere...
We live in a desert. In this desert there has been a drought for a number of years. This year, we are not droughting, well, yet. I'm sure the stupid weather man will start complaining about water tables and blah blah blah soon enough. ANYWAY! The lack of droughtness has caused lots of flooding. Mostly because people are stupid and ignore the fact that they're building their house in a flood zone because as I mentioned, we live in a desert. Idiots. One of these idiots is my friend Holly and her family. Though, I don't know the whole story and therefore can't pass judgement there house is flooded...flooding, whatever, unlivable, so she is homeless and I in a fit of insanity said I'd ask my parents if she could stay with us for a little while. Two, three weeks tops. Then I thought, WHAT?! Because she kind of drives me crazy, she's what I like to call a poor me. One of those women that can't find her ass unless a MAN tells her where to look. She thinks she's all independant and fabulous, but she's not. ANYWAY!! Then I thought to myself, it'll be ok, good will come of this, Cute Rob is Holly's friend and I really REALLY like Cute Rob. If Holly is living with me then Cute Rob will be hanging out at my house! Hooray!! She can stay. Then tonight I discover that Holly thinks she has some sort of future with Cute Rob and I can't go around dashing her dreams. Not that she wouldn't find someone else to love, she's never short of men to adore her. Also a trait of the 'poor me' apparently guys like that...I just don't get it. So now I don't know. Could prove to be good blogging fodder though!

And that's all I have to say, I guess that wasn't too bad. OOH I have a quote of the day today! I've been slipping! Be sure and use your best snooty french guy accent.

"I cannot answer the phone anymore, the stupid people are especially stupid today."

Monday, June 20, 2005
Insert Evil Laugh Here...
Bwahahaha!! I found out today that my EX bosses got their butts chewed out by the president of the bank. YAY!!! A little vindication goes a long way! That's all I'm going to say about that, except perhaps I'll add another evil laugh. Bwahaha!!!

NEXT!! Uhm...can't help but dwell on the severe tongue lashing those bastards at the bank got. AND! A customer actually closed all her accounts today because I wasn't there. They soooo chose the wrong girl to screw with. Hehehehe. OK, really moving on! Mand mentioned that I'm writing a book. I think it's good, I hope it's good, and I'll probable end up posting it but I have some concerns that I need to hurdle first. OOH I applied for a job today, yeah just one, but babysteps... Anyway, I mostly just wanted to revel in my vindication. REVEL REVEL REVEL!!!! :)

Friday, June 17, 2005
Good and Bad
Ok, I'm sick of me whining all the time so now I'm only gonna whine half the time. For everything I bitch about I have to say something nice. But only in this post, I just don't have that much sunshine to blow up anyones ass.

Ok, bad thing #1: Still unemployed.
Good thing #1: Didn't have to go to work and blow sunshine up anyones ass.
Bad thing #2:Went to pick up my last paycheck from evil horrid bank place today.
Good thing #2: I know have more money in my savings account then ever before!
Bad thing #3: Had to see evil ex boss bitch, who had the kahoneys (so not how that's spelled) to ask how I was doing.
Good thing #3: I could tell her to go to hell without risking getting fired.
Bad thing #4: I have to start looking for a new job Monday.
Good thing #4: I get to find a new job where wonderful fabulous things will happen. (sunshine meet ass)
Bad thing #5: Hmmm, am running out of bad things. Opted to stay in bed as long as possible today rather than go shopping with the sisters.
Good thing #5: Got to stay in bed til ten and had a two hour nap. Those damn sleeping pills don't wear off very good. OOH Good thing #5b: Mand got me The Great Enyclopedia of Faeries. SO FREAKING COOL!
OOH!! I also made my neice the COOLEST hula costume EVER!! I'm like martha stewart without the insider trading and jail time. A little rafia... some tape... VOILA!! The grandest tiger in all the jungle!!

LOOK LOOK!! More good things than bad! YAY!!! And now I'm going to go read up on faeries. So exciting!!!

A blog milestone to be sure...
This is my first official multi blog day. Maybe, because it is now officialy midnight and therefore tomorrow. However! It is my first multi blog 24 hours, so I'm counting it. I went back to hell (the bank) today for my joke of an exit interview. Why are you leaving? they ask me. "Because you f***ing asked me too dumb ass" Do you feel you've been treated fairly at out institution? they ask me "No I feel more like I've taken it up the ass" Is there anything we could have done to make you stay? they ask me. "Yeah dumbass, not f***ing forced me to quit" Though I didn't use such colorful language I was thinking it the whole time. I did however write a letter to the two big men at the bank and attach a copy to my "voluntary termination" (my ass) paper. Then I went and said goodbye to my friends there. They were in shock at the fact that first I was no longer employed, and second, that I was unemployed for the reason I was. I think the shock is wearing off and the greater than thou thoughts are going away and no I'm left with the fact that I don't have a job to go to tomorrow, or Monday, or any day, and I am quite frankly scared. Luckily I still live with mom and dad so rent's covered, food's covered, I still have a place to sleep at night none of that is really the problem. I have some serious social anxiety issues. Whenever someone that I don't really know talks to me all I can hear is "blah blah blah I don't like you." So when I have an interview for a job where someone has to like me, I have a hard time not covering my ears with my hands, curling into the fetal position and moaning, "please like me please like me please like me" til they can stand it no longer and call the nice men in the white coats. So with the new job hunt, I have to go be fabulous to people that I start out convinced hate me. Then, if I do end up with the job, I have to meet and get to know other people who also, I am convinced, hate me. This eventually wears away but for the first couple weeks life sucks, and I am so not in the mood for more sucking.

I am also really deeply hurt. I tried to make the best out of a shitty situation and I get the shaft for it. And not because I was doing anything wrong, because someone didn't like me. Which really helps a lot with the whole social anxiety problem. My self esteem is shot. I was good at that job, I was DAMN good at that job, and none of it mattered. Shit, I feel another nervous breakdown coming on. I just took one of my sleeping pills so maybe I could just rest and notice one of them is gone, one that I don't remember taking. I'm telling myself that my mom snaked one while I was gone, but it makes me wonder. OOOOH shit.

Thursday, June 16, 2005
Joining the ranks of the unemployed...
A couple weeks ago I wrote about some stresses I was having with my boss and then was warned to not vent to much about work lest I get fired. Well, that doesn't seem to be a problem anymore. So now I'm venting my little heart out!!! I got pushed out of my job yesterday. A job that I've had and worked hard at, and done my best at for the last two and a half years. The first 20 months were spent at the main branch, where I learned quickly and was handed more and more responsibilities as time went on. After only 6 months I was the head trainer for the entire bank. Other branches sent their tellers to me to be taught how to do their job. Then one August day, everything changed. I was called in for a meeting with the operations manager and my supervisor in which I was told of trouble at the South Main branch and asked if I would step in to save the day. Apparently there were personality conflicts with the supervisor there and one of her tellers so they were going to trade us. Everyone could keep their jobs and the problem would be solved. That didn't go over to well with the other girl so rather than a trade I just ended up taking her place after she walked out in a rage.

In that meeting I was told that if I was unhappy with the way things went at SM I could come back, they would find a way, also, a job was outlined to me in which I would learn all the responsibilities of Alice, the South Main Supervisor, so that I would be able to take on her job at the drop of a hat. And it was Alice's job to train me. To teach me what she did, and show me how to do it. Which I will admit to some small degree she did. But I was unhappy there and after two weeks so I went back to Kirk (the ops officer) and told him I was unhappy and that I wanted to come back. I said things aren't happening the way I thought they would, I went up there for added responsibility and to learn new things. If all I was going to do was be a teller I wanted to be a teller where my friends were, where my customers were, and where I had responsibilities. Kirk said that they would open my position to the other branches and that I would trade places with whoever took it. Two girls applied for that job, one of them was apparently not qualified because she hadn't been there 6 months, the other was not qualified because she hadn't been there a year, the lack of experience left them unqualified to do my job. I might add that after I went part time, they moved a new head teller into my place, he's been with the bank about 2 months. So I stayed at South Main and tried to make the most of it. When Alice had to have major surgery and was out for 6 weeks I stepped in, as I was supposed to, and managed the office in her absence. When she's gone for a doctors appointment, or a dentist appointment which are frequent, I step in and take over, assuring her that she has no need to worry. For a few months, everything was fine.

Then everything hit the fan. Suddenly, people were complaining about me, I wasn't doing my job anymore, I was rude, unwilling to help. Incapable of helping them probably because I didn't know how to help them if it wasn't something I could do as a teller. New accounts, bookkeeping, bank card, and loans were all foreign to me, because I never recieved the training that was my supervisors duty to get me. So every time she pulled my aside and said Katy what's your problem, you're blah blah blah...I honestly tried to make an effort. I racked my brain trying to think of a time I was rude to a customer and made a concious effort to be nicer. Apparently all my work was in vain. Alice had it out for me and wasn't going to let me fix the "problem". So yesterday, I was pulled aside and told that Kirk wanted to see me and her later that day. Apparently, her meeting that morning which she had called me and asked me to come to work early so she could go to, was about me. Which I think is funny. "Katy can you get ready and be to work in 20 minutes so I can get you fired?" So we went to the meeting, which also included human resources which I was unaware of until I was sitting in their office. After being told that Kirk had been getting complaints about me "second hand" (meaning what? Meaning Alice had been telling him about all the complaints she was supposedly getting about me? whatever.) And trying to tell them that I WAS nice to customers, I was polite and helped them as much as I could and I honestly couldn't think of a time when I was rude or appeared unwilling to help, I was told that I had two choices. They were either going to put me on immediate probation which meant that the next time kirk heard anything negative about me I would be shown the door, or I could resign right then, and I would get two weeks severance pay. So I resigned. Looking back I should have made them fire me. Then I could have sued them for wrongful discharge and collected unemployment.

I'm not a victime kind of person, I'm not a poor me, look what the big bads did to me. I take responsibility for my actions, but I honestly can NOT take all the blame on this one. At least half has to fall to her. This sucks.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005
woo hoo, I've been tagged.
Strangeafeet tagged me for this online blogtopian chain letter thingy. Though there is no mention of bad luck, I'm not one to take any chances so here goes.

If I could be a musician, If I could be a doctor, If I could be a painter, If I could be a gardner, If I could be a missionary, If I could be a chef, If I could be an architect, If I could be a linguist, If I could be a psychologist, If I could be a librarian, If I could be an athlete, If I could be a lawyer, If I could be an inn-keeper, If I could be a professor, If I could be a writer, If I could be a writer, If I could be a llama rider, If I could be a bonnie pirate, If I could be an astronaut, If I could be a world famous blogger (you mean I'm not?) If I could be a justice on any one court in the world, If I could be married to any current famous political figure.

And the results!! In no particular order...

If I could be a professor I would teach people to use their imaginations. I would teach them to dream the big dreams and share them. Dreamers are the ones that change the world.

If I could be a writer I would write for children. I would write novels that took them to far away places, and send them on exciting adventures. And again, I would teach them to dream, to realize that with a little imagination, there could be fairies in your backyard and pirates in your bathroom.

If I could be a lawyer I would stand up for abused women and children and fight the abusive husbands and dead beat dads tooth and nail and make everyone see them for exactly what they really are.

If I could be a bonnie pirate I would be married to johnny depp. And raising wee buckaneers on a tropical island drinking rum! HOORAY!!

If I could be a psychologist I'd set out to discover what the hell was wrong with people...starting with me :)

And now I tag My sister Boo, My sister Amanda, and Nate.

Monday, June 13, 2005
Little padded rooms aren't such a bad idea...
Sophie's OK!! YAY! Yesterday was tramatic. Baby blood is never a good thing, baby blood from gash in head is definitely worse. Sucks even worse when it's sweet Sophie Gene. I had the same thought as Missuz J, i.e. That doesn't look safe. Why oh why is it that when you have that thought and run frantic to their aid, everything is fine, but when you think, eh, she's always been ok before she ends up taking a header off a chair into a pile of video cassettes and a rather pointy corner? My house will be made of rubber, and sponges, and there will be no climbable aparatus over 1 foot high. OK, so probably not but I hate that slow motion, sick to your stomache, heart in your throat feeling, when for just a second you have ESP and you know, that on that downward fall, there will be sharp corners, and twists of little limbs, and it will eventually end up with your sweet baby (k not really mine but like that matters!!) head over heels on the floor with that "what the HELL just happened" look on their face. And then, as is my way, I start looking for someone to blame, which in this case was me, next time get off your fat ass Katy. And I start thinking that in her little battered Sophie head she's thinking, Auntie K was right there, why didn't my Kitty (nickname) catch me?? Which ok is probably giving myself way to much credit. What she's probably thinking is DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! But still, I wouldn't blame her if the thought crossed her mind. But she's ok, except for her dislocated fat disc, which doesn't sound so bad but i'm sure hurts like hell. Fat's important.

PS, a big thank you to all of you who read me, I was going through my regulars today and realized, like all these women are mommies, and I'm just this random babyless tag along. So I'm glad you've accepted me and enough moosh for one blog.

Sunday, June 12, 2005
The things you learn when living with toddlers...
OK, so things are good here now that I've settled into the fact that yes, when I wake up they're still gonna be here, it's actually pretty cool. I babysat the big sisses kids last night while they were at the other sisses house partying it up and it was pretty fun. Here is a list of some of the things I learned while watching tapes of Blue's Clues, Dora the Explorer and listening to their sweet little babblings:

1. One should always wash ones hands before Tea Time.
2. "I have to potty", means now!!! bless his little heart.
3. I have a bloody nose and I want the play dough sounds remarkably similar when said around a binky.
4. "There's no such thing as magic". What the hell?????
5. When a five year old is having a slumber party with her imaginary friends and "they" want a snack, one graham cracker will not do. Though it had to, I'm a mean auntie.
6. When there's a scary bug flying around the room, do NOT pick up the little boy who is afraid of it, this just brings them closer to the terror and makes the screaming louder.
7. An almost paper cut is as bad as the real thing.
8. There is a way to "get a scrape" on two year old legs, through denim, on carpet, though I didn't see said scrape, I was assured that it was there.
9. "I reach it myself" means "move it closer so I can reach it ya dumb broad".
10. When a 5 year old says "well you know" you're actually expected to know.
11. 22 year old women are not allowed to interact with Dora the Explorer or Blue, "it just isn't done"
12. Dora's version of treasure and my version of treasure are TOTALLY different.
13. On Blues Clues, Joe would be in SERIOUS trouble if his friends didn't come over every day. "what's it called when youre done with the toilet and you make everything go down the hole and it rhymes with rush?" FLUSH JOE!!! FLUSH!!!!

K, I know I'm ending on 13, bad luck I'm sure, but you guys can come up with a few million more ideas i'm sure.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Blog Slack
Ok so it's been like three weeks since I blogged. I'm a big fat slacker what can I say? Nothing to wonderfully interesting going on really, just more work shit but since I have been warned repeatedly to avoid work shit in my blogging I really don't have much to say. My big sis is coming tomorrow and bringing her kids and husband. I'm excited, a little nervous perhaps, but excited. This is where everyone says "Nervous you say? Why would you be nervous?" Well I'll tell you, wether you're wondering or not. My sister is 9 years my senior, I haven't spent more than a couple hours with her (and I'm talking 6 hours here, tops) since I was ooooh probably 9 and then we hardly had anything to say to each other. As I have mentioned before, I am the youngest in my family by quite some distance. There's the two older sisters who are 18 months apart, then the brother who is like 2 years younger then almost 6 years later TADA here comes Katy. Because of this family dynamic, my mom and I have always been really close. While my sisters were off dating boys and hanging out with their friends, I was at home, having tea parties with my mom and playing dress ups. My sisters and my mom have had some rough spots in their relationship, normal teenager mother stuff, but as a result of my being so close to my mom I think they (especiallyMand) have a hard time seperating me frome her. So I didn't go through the same stuff they did at the same time, so what? I still went through it, I'm just quieter about it. So I'm LDS, and young, and single, and don't have kids, that doesn't mean we have nothing in common. I don't even know if we have anything in common, it's never been just me and her, and when we are together its like she has this wall up that keeps me from getting to know her. But I wanna try. She's my sister. So anyway, I'm going to be living with a woman I barely know for the next two to three weeks, sharing my space, my bathroom, and hopefully a little bit of myself. In return for who knows. Maybe I'll finally get to know a little about her.

Today's quote of the day:
I smile because you're my sister. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it.