Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Thanks! Wait...What?
I work in a department where women are vastly outnumbered by men. Well of course they're outnumbered by men. It's not like I work with 100 chihuahuas. Anyway! We women are few and far between. Most of us are in some sort of clerical position or we're in charge of cleaning, planting flowers, or pulling weeds. I have no problem whatsoever with the dynamic in my department. This isn't some sexist tirade. I like working with dozens of men, there's far less drama and I often feel like I'm surrounded by my favorite uncles. Uncles that know absolutely nothing about me.

One would think that given the male to female ratio, someone as awesome as I happen to be would have lost her single status by now. Not the case (not complaining). While it is true that men outnumber the women, it is also true that the MARRIEDS outnumber we Singles by I think it's safe to say, an even greater margin. So it's safe to assume (, I know) that whoever it is you're talking to, especially if they're a contract employee, is married.

Apparently this is not the case.

The players:
Kate: A super awesome Single devoted to educating young Singles that MARRIED doesn't mean better. Kate has been eyeing Tom.
Max: Tom's boss. An employee in Kate's department
Charlie: The new girl at work. (Not shown)
Tom: The cutey in question. (Not shown)

Scene: Kate is busily working away (stop laughing, I work sometimes) at her job, minding the office while everyone else is gone to lunch. Max enters stage left.

Max: Where is everybody?
Kate: Gone to lunch.
Max: Oh. Tom wanted me to ask around about Charlie.
Kate: (The blood rushing to her face) Which one's Tom? (To audience) Dammit!
Max: My apprentice, just got made a journeyman, nice kid, goatee.
Kate: Oh right! (To audience) Damn Damn Double Damn!! Ask about me!!! (To Max) What about Charlie?
Max: Is she a Single? How old is she?
Kate: I really don't know her that well. As far as I know she's single. I think she's 19 or 20.
Max: Oh. Tom's like 28 so she's probably too young for him.
Kate: Well hell Max! I'm 24!
Max: Yeah but you're a MARRIED (beat) aren't you?
Kate: (To audience) WHAT?!?!?! (To Max) No. I'm not.
Max: I thought you were married! You're just so confident and self assured!!
Kate: Well thank you. (To audience) Wait...What??
Max: (Blah blah blahs......)

People assume I'm married because I like myself? What the...? Apparently I need a sign. Maybe a scrolling marquee across my boobs, since that's where people look anyway, "Just because I like myself doesn't mean I'm married". I can't win!

It's like the big red purse story.


It doesn't matter.

I'm still annoyed though.

Thursday, August 09, 2007
Why don't you caaaaaaaall meeeeeee??
I bumped into an old friend last night while at Hell-Mart and we started talking. She's "almost engaged" again and absolutely obsessed with this guy. I don't think she's ever stopped to think what her life might be like if she wasn't wrapped up in a man. Anyway we were talking about movies and she mentioned she had missed a few movies she wanted to see this summer because she couldn't find anyone to go with her.


I told her that I went to movies by myself all the time. Her reaction, of course, was pity. "Katy! Why don't you caaaaaaall meeeee? I'll hang out with you!" Because obviously my problem is that no one will hang out with me and has nothing to do with the idea that may I enjoy hanging out with myself.


Monday, August 06, 2007
Times they are a changing.
I think it's pretty obvious that I've sort of struggled with ye olde blog. I would say it's just recently but let's face it, it's never been particularly coherent. So in a last ditch effort to help it help me, we're trying yet another something new and fun. I give you:

Party of one.

That's right. It's a whole new world. One where I am not only content to go to a movie by myself but i'm kinda thrilled. One where breakfast in a nice little cafe with me, my crispy bacon, and a good book is something I look forward to. Single is the new black.

Now, the space will not be completely devoted to my life as an awesome singleton but I'm hoping that that will be the focus and that I don't just completely drop off the face of the planet.

Here's to new beginnings.