Rage against the machine.

So, I had a big long post, loaded with pictures all done a couple days ago. Then when I tried to publish it went all crazy and my post was lost. Angriness. I was going to show you all pictures. I was going to show you the Frylock cake, how it got squished:
Then building half a cake out of styrofoam. Then, when I tried to cover it, the fondant kept tearing, then there was the going generally crazy and crying. Then worrying that I didn't have enough cake to feed everybody so I made cupcakes and sweet Becky covered them in some lime buttercream, and I finished them off with these cute little chocolate shield thingies, but when I got all the chocolate shields done and flipped them over they were backwards, so I made them all again. Ugh.
So, we had cupcakes, a naked Frylock cake and a mildly insane Katy. Rather than attempt the fondant again because, well I was ready to break things, I just covered it in buttercream and we had this:

After Frylock I was feeling pretty inferior, not up to the challenge of a wedding cake. So Julie and I decided to do a practice cake, and since it was mothers day we did something pretty and frilly for Julie's mother in law. I give you, Fuschia.

Pretty huh? Unfortunately this cake didn't make the trip over the mountain to the mother in laws house. The car was hot and apparently half of it just fell right off. Bummer, again with the total lacking in cake skills. What the hell right? So we started about two weeks before the wedding and I made her.
Yeah, I'm aware she has not arms. They fell off. She was also huge, and looked like a boy. A boy in a dress, but still a boy. So I tried again and eventually came up with these two:

I fixed his arms, made them less gorillalike. I fixed his suit (made it blacker), and fixed his face. It was fatter than it needed to be. Finally we made cakes. ALL DAY SATURDAY!! With the mixing and the cleaning and the baking and yeah. This is a lot of work. Did you know that it takes an hour and a half to bake a 16 inch round cake? Yeah, 95 minutes. Did you also know that flipping a 16 inch cake out of its pan is freakin hard? Did you know that covering a cake that size in fondant is nearly inpossible? We had to roll a piece of fondant to 24 inches a cross? Yeah, that's a lot of fondant. Also, crumb coating a 16 inch cake takes 4 batches of butter cream. I think we made 9 batches of butter cream total. Yeah. That's a lot. So, here are the nakey cakes:

Looks an awful lot like cheese huh? Yeah. I know. But it what the bride wanted and it is my job to do what the bride wants. So there ya go. Eventually the cake ended up looking like this:
Want a closer look? Ok, here ya go.

I think bridezilla was happy. I woke up the day before the wedding with tummy issues. stress? sick? I know not. But I didn't stay around for much of the reception. I haven't seen any $$$$ yet, but that's not too surprising. I'll be mailing out an invoice tomorrow. All in all I was very pleased with how it all turned out.

And now, since you were patient, here is a picture for all you Sophie addicts. And also, a pretty flower.

Some people...

So the date was uneventful. Painfully uneventful. We ate, he insulted my taste in movies, reading material, free time activities, ultimately he just rolled it all into one and insulted my intelligence. Then I went to the craft store with the 20 minutes I had left before I had to go back to work. Haven't heard from him since. Shocking.

I've been pretty busy lately. Busting my butt with the wedding cake that will be delivered (OMG!!) Friday. Tuesday I dropped a hundred and fifty bucks on supplies for the cake. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I molded a little bride and groom out of gum paste, I'll post pictures soon. Saturday Julie and I baked for like seven hours. Want to try something yummy? Get a Duncan Heines Spice cake mix and add a packet of instant butterscotch pudding. Damn, that's tasty. Anyway, we made two 16 inch round chocolate cakes. A 16 inch cake requires 18 cups of batter, and 85 minutes to bake. Also, a 16 inch cake pan juuuuuust barely fits into my oven. Its huge. Also, a pain in the ass to flip, but I got mad skills. I also made two sheet cakes of just plain yellow cake mix. They only require 5 cups of batter, and bake up nice and fluffy like in about 25 minutes. Then we did two 6 inch square spice cakes, which take about 20 minutes to cook and take 2 cups of batter. I think it was only two.... We also made 3 batches of fondant and 4 batches of butter cream. My house will forever smell of cake. Also during the week we made 120 little tiny edible pearls, and 50ish edible gumpaste roses.

Wednesday the mother of the bride returned a call I had made to her about flowers, saying that she couldn't get a hold of the florist, then gave me her phone number. Then she proceeded to question my qualifications. First she asked if I really thought I was able to do this. If I didn't think I could do it, I wouldn't have offered. Then she asked if I would be able to call Mrs. J (my ex's mom) in case I got stuck. I told her if it really came to that I could but that it wouldn't, I was perfectly capable. Then she asked if I was really going to do a Romeo and Juliet scene for the topper. I said yes, I was doing what the bride asked for. Then she asked about money and I told her that I told the bride I would do it for my cost, which was going to be about 150 dollars and then my time was her gift. To witch m.o.b. replied "Oh thats nice, but you're not getting her anything else?"

I was in total shock. First she calls me and questions my skills, then she gives me grief for not getting a present after I'm making her a 500 dollar cake but only charging her 150?!?! I should have said, OK, I'll charge you for my time at 20 dollars an hour for the 40 hours I put in on the cake, that would be 800 dollars. Then we'll add a little since I had to put up with you and your daughter and your total LACK of communication with ANYONE, say, another 150 dollars... Then add in the cost of supplies, ingredients: 150, decorations, another 50. So yeah... that's 200... adds up to 1150 dollars right? Yeah, that sounds fair. So you write me a check for 1150 dollars, and I'll go buy her a 10 dollar picture frame from Wal-Mart.

I'm going to be so glad when this is over. Things are pretty stress free right now, which is good. We have a schedule, we're sticking to the schedule. Everything is peachy. But I probably won't be around much until the end of this insanity.

Am I actually dating again?

I have a date in a half an hour for lunch. Yes I met him online. Yes I know how scary that is. Yes I remember what happened last time. However, we will be remaining in a public place for the duration of the outing. It will be broad daylight. I actually have a solid excuse for the date only lasting an hour. And, my boss will know where I am and that should I not call or return by 1:15, to call out the posse.

This guys name is Jason. He's been trying to get me to go out with him for like 2 weeks now. Maybe 3 actually. He's been so patient (or is it pushy?) that I figured lunch would be good, non-threatening fun.

Why am I so terrified of dating again?

I really don't think it has to do with the last asshat I met on the internet. I can handle myself in that kind of situation. It's easy, fight back. But for some reason the idea of getting close to someone again has me petrified. Is it worth it? Is the whole dating, getting hurt, getting stomped on, taking risks with yourself thing, worth the 1 in a billion chance that you'll actually find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? Is being married so great that it's worth all the bullshit to get there?

Discuss...

Please sir...can I have some more?

I have a highly addictive personality.

I am also something of a hanger on.

For instance, last week my friend bought a Take 5 candy bar and proclaimed their goodness. So obviously, the next day I bought my own Take 5. And the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Monday, I bought 5. They're yummy. For those of you haven't experienced the greatness that is the Take 5 bar let me introduce you.

Take 5 bar, I would like to introduce you to my friends. Friends, meet Take 5 bar. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. One filled with the salty goodness of pretzels, the smooth satisfaction of caramel, the crunch of peanuts (I loooooves peanuts) the goody goodness of peanut butter, all wrapped in a perfect little cacoon of chocolate. I could see myself, if deemed necessary, stealing a Take 5 bar from a child. They're little, they'll get over it. Luckily each bar is actually two bars. So it is perfect for sharing. As long as I get a bite. I be happy. mmmm.

Also, I have not encountered and alcoholic beverage in something like 2 years. Maybe a year and a half. Anyway, I have kept far away from their dizzying goodness because I know I stand on the razor's edge of alcoholicness. But I really want an Appletini. BAD. I am a big fan of the Appletini. And the Cosmo. But more the Appletini. Seriously, I have to find a way to have a virgin Appletini. Gonna have to google that... I watch Food Network and the cooks are always topping something off with a lovely little cocktail concoction, that looks yummy. mmmm.

I get addicted to TV shows. My current favorites are Grey's Anatomy, America's Next Top Model (but just because I want to see when Jade gets her ass kicked off), and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Oh, and Gilmore Girls. Grey's Anatomy is the only one that I DO NOT miss. Sunday night 9:00, you will find me on the couch, wide eyed, clutching a pillow, waiting to see what happens next. I have never been a hospital drama type person. I just can't resist. The addition of hot vet Chris O'Donnell just makes the whole thing oh so much better. I've had a crush on him since Batman and Robin and now he's all woodsy, and animal lover, and scruffy, and his name's Finn. Dude, please oh please let us see him shirtless very VERY soon. Also, I occasionally suffer through an episode of Smallville on the off chance I might get a glimpse of James Marsters. Which leads me to my next addiction.

SPIKE!!!! OMG!!! Really, I have a problem there. I have found myself suspending reality ala Ally McBeal and having my own little mid afternoon fantasies. For instance, that last sentance took me like 5 minutes to type because I was busy ripping Spike's clothes off. See? See my problem?? I mean, James Marsters is the hotness. But Spike...rrrow. The leather, the attitude, the dark side. The accent! Really... I just... I mean... Damn. Then in Once More With Feeling, the singing Spike!!! Even better. Since I was little I've had a thing for the darkside. When I was in Middle School I was all about the Nightworld series of books. Then freakin L.J. Smith just fell off the planet and stopped writing them. My friends and I even roleplayed different characters. WE ROLE PLAYED!!! Then I got all Buffy obsessed and oh how I wish I could conjure up my own little Spikey clone for those long nights... I have a problem... I know. But admitting it is half the battle... Do they have a Spike Lover's Anonymous?? Is there a pill or something I can take? OK, I think I've sufficiently embarassed myself...

bye bye.


Just FYI: MissuzJ's internet has been down at home and the great and mighty district blocked blogs at work so that's why she's a bit MIA. Just so you all know.