This is the question I am asked most often. At least it seems like it's been terribly often lately. Start new job #1,
"Sooo, do you have a boyfriend? Are you married?"
No. And it's not like it's just one time. Every new person I work with, asks the question.
Then, Grandma shows up and I hear:
"If I could just get you married off..."
Which is followed by a deep and heart felt sigh. Then every time she sees a boy that's 5'11" or greater I hear:
"There's a nice tall boy for you Katy, you should snatch him up."
Yes Grandma, I'm going to walk up to a total stranger and say, "Hey, you match the height requirement, wanna make really tall babies?" Then there's my personal favorite.
"Katy, you need to play hard to get, just be timid."
"But timid isn't really my attitude."
"Well honey, I don't think boys are particularly attracted to your attitude." Ouch.
Then I start another new job, where I am the secretary for like 15 managers at the local University. Mostly men, and they all try and be so nice and make conversation and for some reason it's:
"So, are you married? Are you seeing anyone."
I say no, and they say "Why not?" To which I have no reply, except to bellow and beat them around the head and shoulders. So I refrain and just shrug. Honestly, I'm a student secretary at a college, which obviously means I'm a student, ask me what I'm majoring in, ask me what classes I'm taking. Why oh why is it in this shit hole of a town people decide your social status by your marrital status?
Yesterday I met my oldest friends new boyfriend, I've known her since 2nd grade and have always thought, whatever happens, as long as I'm married before her, I'll be ok. Seriously, I give them a month before they're engaged and giddy. Anyway, my friend, her boyfriend, and I went to go get pizza last night. On the way out the door I grabbed my briefcasesque purse. Which aside from being freaking huge, is red.
"Is that your purse?" New boyfriend said. and I nod. "Ooooh, I can see why you're single."
Excuse me? What the fuck does my purse have to do with my singleness? Apparently I give the impression of being overbearing and too independant and therefore am unapproachable by members of the opposite sex. Thanks for that little tidbit buddy. Then the friend goes on about how she hates purses and never carries them at all if she can avoid it, while I glare at the object of her love and imagine beating him about the head and shoulders.
I am 22 years old people!! I'm just a baby! Sure I want a husband, I want a family, I want a house and a dog and all that jazz, but I want to be me first. You only have so long to be you before you become us and I intend to make the most of it. So, to the world at large: Shut the hell up already!!
"Sooo, do you have a boyfriend? Are you married?"
No. And it's not like it's just one time. Every new person I work with, asks the question.
Then, Grandma shows up and I hear:
"If I could just get you married off..."
Which is followed by a deep and heart felt sigh. Then every time she sees a boy that's 5'11" or greater I hear:
"There's a nice tall boy for you Katy, you should snatch him up."
Yes Grandma, I'm going to walk up to a total stranger and say, "Hey, you match the height requirement, wanna make really tall babies?" Then there's my personal favorite.
"Katy, you need to play hard to get, just be timid."
"But timid isn't really my attitude."
"Well honey, I don't think boys are particularly attracted to your attitude." Ouch.
Then I start another new job, where I am the secretary for like 15 managers at the local University. Mostly men, and they all try and be so nice and make conversation and for some reason it's:
"So, are you married? Are you seeing anyone."
I say no, and they say "Why not?" To which I have no reply, except to bellow and beat them around the head and shoulders. So I refrain and just shrug. Honestly, I'm a student secretary at a college, which obviously means I'm a student, ask me what I'm majoring in, ask me what classes I'm taking. Why oh why is it in this shit hole of a town people decide your social status by your marrital status?
Yesterday I met my oldest friends new boyfriend, I've known her since 2nd grade and have always thought, whatever happens, as long as I'm married before her, I'll be ok. Seriously, I give them a month before they're engaged and giddy. Anyway, my friend, her boyfriend, and I went to go get pizza last night. On the way out the door I grabbed my briefcasesque purse. Which aside from being freaking huge, is red.
"Is that your purse?" New boyfriend said. and I nod. "Ooooh, I can see why you're single."
Excuse me? What the fuck does my purse have to do with my singleness? Apparently I give the impression of being overbearing and too independant and therefore am unapproachable by members of the opposite sex. Thanks for that little tidbit buddy. Then the friend goes on about how she hates purses and never carries them at all if she can avoid it, while I glare at the object of her love and imagine beating him about the head and shoulders.
I am 22 years old people!! I'm just a baby! Sure I want a husband, I want a family, I want a house and a dog and all that jazz, but I want to be me first. You only have so long to be you before you become us and I intend to make the most of it. So, to the world at large: Shut the hell up already!!
9 Comments:
you need to come move out here. they hang people for getting married at 22. and they looooooove red briefcasesque purses.
seriously - you know exactly what you're doing. it's a shame everyone doesn't mind their own business.
Shut the hell up indeed! You have plenty of time to get married - right now enjoy you.
And if a man won't approach you because you appear too independent then he isn't a man you would ever want. Don't settle for anyone that isn't happy with you just being you.
You have permission to beat people about the head - and even other body parts.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. No one I know (including me) has ever said, "I wish I had gotten married younger." However, many people I know, (including me) have said, "I really should have waited until I was older to get married."
You know, it's really almost too bad you don't live in NY. You'd go far here. Especially with a briefcasesque purse being in tow!
Well anyway, screw all those people. Someday when the timing's right you'll find a man (with the balls to talk to you) who loves the fact that you're you. So until then, screw people.
Glad you're hanging in there and congrats on the new job! Hope to talk to you soon.
Dale Evans didn't meet Roy Rogers in a cowboy bar. You'll meet your soul mate someday. Just make sure you're best friends first.
Is Daina endorsing pre-marital sex:
"Someday when the timing's right you'll find a man (with the balls to talk to you) who loves the fact that you're you. So until then, screw people."
"until then, screw people."
truer words were never spoken. tee hee.
LOL whoops! Now that I reread that I can see how it sounds different than I meant. HAHA ^_^
Don't believe her, she meant every word. :)
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