Friday, August 26, 2005
I'm special damnit!
Even if I don't necessarily feel that way.

Does anyone out there have a friend that you don't necessarily like but you don't know how to get rid of? I DO! Her name is Holly, she's such a princess (the bitch way) and she drives me crazy. From the first day I met her at church I thought "That girl and I will never ever be friends." And yet, somehow, we are. One day I was sitting alone at church and so was she and she came and sat by me and started chatting me up like we were best buds. Since then I can't escape. If I get there before she does, she sits by me, if I get there after her she's watching the door for me and even if I do happen to sneak in without her noticing she'll find me and come sit by me. GRRR. In the months since we've been friends I have seen her through no less than 10 boyfriends. All of them supposedly marriage material after the first date. Then suddenly, none of them good enough. I understand being picky. Hell, if I wasn't picky I would have married the 30 year old divorcee the last time I was in college. But her reasons that they weren't good enough are ridiculous. For instance:
~Public Displays of Affection. "He held my hand in front of people."
~Lack of Public Displays of Affection. "He won't hold my hand in front of people."
~Lack of attention "I didn't feel good and he didn't drop all his plans and come take care of me." (A-she never feels good, B-she lives with her parents, and C-They'd only been on two dates...freaking psycho.)
~Too much attention. "He wants me to drop all my plans for him."
~Jumping the gun "He called me his girlfriend. I can call him my boyfriend but I'm not his girlfriend."
~Moving to slow. "We've been on three dates, he should be telling people I'm his girlfriend."

The woman is relationship bipolar. Now on to the reason for my rant.

Holly and Rob have a history. They never dated, but they've been friends for awhile and Holly always wished there friendship would progress but it never did. Then two weeks ago at church in the middle of one of our meetings she starts crying. Sobbing. Can't control her tears. A good friend would have thought "Oh no, what happened? Is everything OK? Did your dog die?" And I thought "Oh hell, what now?" So she leaves. A good friend would have followed, I sat back and breathed a sigh of relief. Then she came back. "Damn." The meeting ends and she's still crying but under control. "What's wrong?" I ask before I can stop myself. "I don't know if I want to talk about it." Whoa, dodged a bullet on that one. "OK." I should have known better however because then she goes in to the whole huge drama about Rob, and Brady (her current GORGEOUS boyfriend) and how she just can't choose. "Have either of them asked you to choose?" She looks at me all butt hurt. "No. There's nothing going on with me and Rob." NO SHIT SHERLOCK! "Then I don't see the problem." I say. She sighs as if to say "Katy, you haven't had a boyfriend for four years. What do you know?" Instead she says, "Something could happen between me and Rob, someday." See? She's crazy and high maintenance and I'm too lazy to deal with her shit.

Of course the week after our tearful refrain, Rob asks me out. Hooray! And she acts all excited. But she's not really excited at all. When I told her Rob was taking me to dinner she said "Do you know why?" Enlighten me oh wise one. "Because I'm with Brady and you're the next best thing." I think she might have thought it was a compliment.... Anyway, at that moment I decide maybe it's a good idea to not discuss Rob with Holly. Until yesterday when she came to visit me at work and asked how the date was. I smiled and said it was fine. "Tell me about it" she says. I have to? So I keep to the basic good points of the evening. "He washed his truck before he came and got me." That was nice huh? "Oh he does that all the time. Or at least he does for me." K, so not as big a deal as I thought. "He opened doors for me. I love that." I'm not one of those crazy girls that won't get into a car until the boy opens the door for her, but I love it when boys do it anyway. So she fires back "He's such a gentleman, he does that for everybody. By now my little happy bubble is a little deflated but I'm still riding on the "Whatever bitch, Rob actually took me on a date so say what you want." Then she hit me with, "I called him before he came to get you and he asked if me and Brady wanted to come with." WHATHEFUH? Suddenly, my date starts feeling more like we were hanging out than we're on a date, and my last little happy bubble bursts. Interesting how immediately after she makes me feel completely unspecial she starts in on how things aren't so great lately with her and Brady. He wanted to go rock climbing but she didn't feel good but he wouldn't stay home with her so of course she had to go with him but felt awful the whole time, then he tried to send her home so she could rest, and why would he want to get rid of her? Then she says she's going to call Rob and go to a movie or something cuz she misses him and hasn't hung out with him in sooooo long. So things are "bad" with Brady and she just falls back on Rob. She's such a treasure. Let's go slash her tires...


Blogger lonna said...

What a bitch! Maybe he is interested in you and not in her because she's a horrible person. What an ego. Don't let her ruin your nice night. It is possible that she's lying to you about things. He probably did do nice things for you because they were for you. She better look out or your sister just might go after her.

Blogger Katiemagic said...

I second that WHAT A BITCH! Is she still in Jr. High?

Do not listen to people like her and her "input" into whatever may or may not be going on with you and Rob. No one knows what's going on except you and him.

Sounds like she has a thing about being the center of attention, and can't stand it if anyone else might be getting some (attention that is). I would be polite, and cordial to her, but would not let her continue to insert herself into your business. If she calls Rob and he takes the bait then he's just too dense to see what's in front of him and who wants to deal with that anyway!

I just realized I typed a bunch of advice when you didn't ask for any. Sorry, it's just that I've been there and it SUCKS but you can get past it!!

yeah, that's the tricky thing with these blogs. If someone posts a problem, people feel the need to advise (I've often been criticized by women of this trait of mine. 'sometimes I just want you to listen and not tell me what you think.' That doesn't work so well for me, so...) god bless you, Katy, but I'm going to guess it's not laziness that keeps you from severing this relationship. Someone like this Holly doesn't have "friends." She has people whom she uses to boost herself up.

If you truly don't care about the reprocusions, next time she starts to talk with you, ask her "why are you talking to me?" (or "why are you sitting by me? waiting for me? visiting me at work?) She'll probably say something like "because you're my friend," and the easy response is either A- civil, "you sure don't act like it," or B- "well, I really don't like you, so why don't we just make this easy, and you can find another 'friend.'"

Of course, this is the guy way of doing things. As I'm learning, women handle their interpersonal communications much differently (and I'm sure I'll hear about it in comments following mine).

Blogger Katy said...

Advise away my friends.

Blogger amandak said...

OK, I agree with everyone on the Holly's a bitch vibe. I will give you one word of advice when dealing with people like this. BOUNDARIES. Find out what yours are in regards to her. Sounds like to me they may be heading toward, not sharing personal information, and not asking for her personal information. Although there could be many other factors. Then you HAVE to enforce those boundaries. Sounds hard to do without being a bitch yourself, I know. But if she actually TOLD you she thought you were 'the next best thing' I wouldn't worry too much about it. If it comes down to it, you can always just smile and say, 'gee, I'm SO sorry, I have to GO NOW' and remove yourself from her company. Or, we could slash her tires, but that'd probably just lead to her asking you for rides. Luck to you! And don't let her get you down. She has issues.

Blogger patrice said...

I'm not even going to read the other comments before I say what I'm about to say, and that's...

BITCH! I'MA COME OUT THERE AND RIP YOUR TEETH OUT YOUR GRILL! where's my credit card?? I need a plane ticket to's house. I'LL MESS YOU UP GOOD, YOU FUCKING ASSWHORE.

ahem. sorry. what I mean is that she's obviously very threatened by you and is quite insecure. I really think you need to nip this in the bud somehow because I see that getting worse before it gets better.

oh. and NEVER FUCKING TALK TO HER AGAIN. nicely, of course.

Blogger rob said...

"Because I'm with Brady and you're the next best thing."

This alone gives you carte blanche to tell her to go play hide and go fuck herself.

"She looks at me all butt hurt."

Well...that's what you get for playing hide and go fuck yourself: Butt hurt.

Yeah...this person is unnecessary to you. She needs you more than you need her. She has made this perfectly clear. It is well within your rights to reflect this fact to her, especially when she's behaving like a manipulative little ass clown...

...but do it in all a christian manner.


WWJD? Forgive her and then turn her water into epikak.

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